Stop feeding your fears, and they’ll eventually wither and die. We continue to feed them by feeding into them. When we look up and realize that we are the ones keeping them well-fed and cozy, we can begin to stop. Our fears have a firm hold on us because we keep them strong.
When we begin the journey of putting an end to them, they are not going to be pleased. They will moan and groan and cause such a ruckus within us that it takes a strongly rooted sense of self to forge ahead anyway. For me, it feels like my heart is pounding so loud and fast that I’m going to pass out.
It’s like electricity running through my body. It hurts everywhere, and it feels like I can’t bear it a second longer. But I’m learning little by little to loosen the hold it has on me, and it’s working. It’s so slow that sometimes it’s hard to tell that progress is being made; excruciatingly slow…I can be impatient.
But I can see the subtle differences. It’s funny when your longing for a change, and the whole while, it’s happening right under your nose, and you can’t see. Life can be so beautifully mysterious. We get to see for ourselves just how small and puny our fears really are when they’re exposed to the light.
It’s laughable how enormous we imagine them to be, larger than life. But all the same, these can be fears that we have had for our entire lives, and Life, being the intelligent creator that she is, knows there is a place and time for everyone to realize these truths and begin to implement them.
I am terrified out of my mind. It’s difficult to admit there’s so much that scares me. Yet, I can feel how strong I am, and I can see how far I’ve come. All of the hard times have been the fire that forged me into steel. At the top of my notes app on my phone, I wrote a saying about 6 years ago.
It reads; Stay strong, Love. Strong as steel, Love. And now, years later, I find myself made of the very steel I was trying desperately to be. What a truly magnificent curiosity this Universe is. It gave me the very thing I had asked for without knowing it.
I certainly hadn’t realized what I was getting myself into when I made that wish. I hadn’t known that kind of strength required a burning of all that no longer served. I’m happy to realize that is the very thing happening to me now. I am currently in the middle of some terrifying life changes.
I know these changes will serve me well, yet they are some of the most difficult choices I have made in my lifetime. As a result, I am par for the course and exactly where I need to be. Overwhelming sadness…check. Bouts of anger and anxiety…check.
Guilt over said anger…check. Confusion and heartache…check. Feeling like I’ve turned my entire life upside-down….check. Scared that I’m fucking everything up… double-check. This is the ripple effect of following your heart instead of your fears.
Perfectly natural. It can’t be any other way. Through the fire is the only way—the best way to be made anew and stronger than ever. Like a snake shedding its skin, it overgrew.
So if you’re like me and your making difficult and terrifying changes in your life, know that everything you feel is a natural course life takes, and it’s going to be okay. Remember, this is all part of a Universal dance—the continuous dance of life. Breathe. Ground yourself. Remember. Feel the dance.