I look at my life, and I do not recognize it. I feel like a stranger in my own body. Nothing looks familiar; nothing feels the same. I could never have imagined being where I am in life right now. Truth has taken me upon her wings and shown me where I must let go. She is setting me free by helping me release all that no longer serves.
It feels like a part of me is dying and being reborn. I am grieving all the pieces of me I’m saying goodbye to. I am grieving the people I was once close to that now feel like strangers. Everything I thought I was and thought I knew is changing. I have never felt so alone in my life.
Not because I don’t have people I can turn to, but because I sense they cannot help me. I am being called to be my own advocate, strength, and shoulder to cry on. I am being shown how to lean on my higher self’s wisdom to get through this turbulent time in my life.
As the love in my being continues to melt the indoctrination away, it leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed. As I raise my vibration, anything that doesn’t align with it is being removed. I have to surrender to the present moment completely or risk being swept away by the fears of my thoughts.
Parts of me that were once shrouded in darkness are being exposed to the light. Once this happens, there is no turning back. There is no pretending things are not different. It is a miraculous and terrifying thing to see things clearly for the first time. I am grieving all my loss, and at the same time, rejoicing everything I’m gaining from this loss.
It feels weird to be experiencing polar states at once. On the one hand, I feel numb, afraid, and heartbroken. On the other hand, I feel excited, alive, full of self-love and awe. It can be confusing, but mostly I’m just going with it, flowing with it. Letting myself expand my mind, heart, and soul.
Allowing this new knowledge to break my chains and show me the path to freedom; so that I may live my life to the fullest. And one day, when I lay on my deathbed and look back, I can smile knowing I took chances, took risks, and was not afraid to be all of who I am.
They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. This holds a seed of truth but does not contain the whole truth. It is wise to look before one leaps to ensure the steps align with what is truly desired. At the same time, it is misguided to let fear of the unknown stop one from making a choice.
I am a powerful creator, so what happens on the other side is ultimately up to me and how I choose to create and perceive it. I get to decide what color the grass will be and how it will affect my life. We are so much more powerful than we know, and fear should never have a say in the choices we make.
Trust is everything right now. I am trusting myself to know what I want and what I’m feeling. Trusting the Divine to hold me safe in her loving arms. Trusting my ancestors and guides to lead me down the path that will serve me best. In this trust, I ground my being and continue pushing forward.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned recently is what is best for me is also what is best for my kids and each person everywhere. Because we are all one, any decision I make in my best interest has to be in the best interest of everyone. It can’t be any other way. We’re all connected, so what affects one affects all.
Society teaches men and women to abandon themselves for the sake of family. To keep our heads down and hustle no matter the consequences. To swallow down our unhappiness and continue the status quo. I say enough of the insanity. Yes, it’s scary as shit to allow change into our lives.
It’s uncomfortable and hurts like hell. It is not a pleasant process, but it is 100% worth it because it leads to the shedding of who we are not, so we can fully experience the magnificence of who we are. It is a majestic process of coming into ourselves and experiencing our Divinity first hand.
Quotes:
Grief is a cocoon from which we emerge new. – Glennon Doyle
We are all one, no matter in what form, space, or time. As one, we can change the world if we start changing ourselves. – Akiane Kramarik
Courage is the power to let go of the familiar. – Raymond Lindquist
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually, you’ve been planted. – Christine Caine
I have resources you know not of. It is safe to trust in my ways and in my own wisdom, for I love you, and I am guiding you into all that is rightfully yours. Know that what is rightfully yours is what your heart truly desires and you need not fear loss. Nothing that is meant to come to you will be denied, and it is safe for you to let go and allow me to move you. – The Universe